1 00:00:00,208 --> 00:00:01,292 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 2 00:00:02,585 --> 00:00:05,964 Oh, Dudley, Dudley Moore. Fifteen seconds to curtain, Mr. Moore. 3 00:00:06,047 --> 00:00:07,966 -Thanks, Scooter. -[PIANO NOTES PLAYING] 4 00:00:08,049 --> 00:00:11,636 I'm having trouble getting this piano in tune. Can you give me an A? 5 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:13,013 Sure, easy. 6 00:00:20,812 --> 00:00:24,566 It's The Muppet Show, with our very special guest star, Dudley Moore! 7 00:00:24,649 --> 00:00:26,192 [CHEERS] 8 00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:28,153 [BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC] 9 00:00:39,748 --> 00:00:41,541 ♪ It's time to play the music ♪ 10 00:00:41,624 --> 00:00:43,793 ♪ It's time to light the lights ♪ 11 00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,879 ♪ It's time to get things started ♪ 12 00:00:45,962 --> 00:00:48,340 ♪ Why don't you get things started? ♪ 13 00:00:48,423 --> 00:00:50,550 Watch what you say tonight. 14 00:00:50,633 --> 00:00:52,719 I think the place is bugged. 15 00:00:52,802 --> 00:00:57,015 ♪ It's time to get things started On the most sensational, inspirational ♪ 16 00:00:57,098 --> 00:00:59,267 ♪ Celebrational, Muppetational ♪ 17 00:00:59,351 --> 00:01:01,936 ♪ This is what we call ♪ 18 00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:06,608 ♪ The Muppet Show ♪ 19 00:01:10,195 --> 00:01:12,113 Surprise! 20 00:01:13,531 --> 00:01:14,574 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] 21 00:01:14,657 --> 00:01:17,535 Thank you and welcome again to The Muppet Show. 22 00:01:17,619 --> 00:01:20,288 And a terrific show it is, because our special guest 23 00:01:20,372 --> 00:01:24,084 is one of England's brightest stars of music and comedy, Mr. Dudley Moore. 24 00:01:24,167 --> 00:01:25,919 But first, to get things started, 25 00:01:26,002 --> 00:01:28,588 we have invited a talented group of young unknowns. 26 00:01:28,672 --> 00:01:32,967 So let's give them a big hand and make them feel welcome. Yay! 27 00:01:33,051 --> 00:01:35,303 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] 28 00:01:35,387 --> 00:01:37,389 [PLAYING "SHE LOVES YOU"] 29 00:01:38,473 --> 00:01:41,059 ♪ She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 30 00:01:41,142 --> 00:01:43,561 ♪ She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 31 00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:48,441 ♪ She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 32 00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:50,735 ♪ Well, you think you've lost your love ♪ 33 00:01:50,819 --> 00:01:53,988 ♪ Well, I saw her yesterday ♪ 34 00:01:54,072 --> 00:01:56,366 ♪ It's you she's thinking of ♪ 35 00:01:56,449 --> 00:01:58,743 ♪ And she told me what to say ♪ 36 00:01:58,827 --> 00:02:00,662 ♪ She says she loves you ♪ 37 00:02:00,745 --> 00:02:04,249 ♪ And you know that can't be bad ♪ 38 00:02:04,332 --> 00:02:05,583 ♪ Yeah, she loves you ♪ 39 00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:08,712 ♪ And you know you should be glad ♪ 40 00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:09,963 ♪ Ooh! ♪ 41 00:02:10,046 --> 00:02:12,215 ♪ She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 42 00:02:12,298 --> 00:02:14,801 ♪ She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 43 00:02:14,884 --> 00:02:16,469 ♪ With a love like that ♪ 44 00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:19,723 ♪ You know you should be glad ♪ 45 00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:22,642 ♪ Well, you know it's up to you ♪ 46 00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:25,812 ♪ And I think it's only fair ♪ 47 00:02:25,895 --> 00:02:28,106 ♪ Pride can hurt you, too ♪ 48 00:02:28,189 --> 00:02:30,066 ♪ Apologize to her ♪ 49 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:31,901 ♪ Because she loves you ♪ 50 00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:35,780 ♪ And you know that can't be bad ♪ 51 00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:37,157 ♪ Yeah, she loves you ♪ 52 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:40,326 ♪ And you know you should be glad ♪ 53 00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:41,619 ♪ Ooh! ♪ 54 00:03:01,097 --> 00:03:02,307 ♪ Ooh! ♪ 55 00:03:02,390 --> 00:03:04,601 ♪ She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 56 00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:07,103 ♪ She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 57 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,563 ♪ With a love like that ♪ 58 00:03:08,646 --> 00:03:12,025 ♪ You know you should be glad ♪ 59 00:03:12,108 --> 00:03:13,818 ♪ With a love like that ♪ 60 00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:17,322 ♪ You know you should be glad ♪ 61 00:03:17,405 --> 00:03:19,032 ♪ With a love like that ♪ 62 00:03:19,115 --> 00:03:22,786 ♪ You know you should be ♪ 63 00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:26,122 ♪ Glad ♪ 64 00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:28,750 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 65 00:03:28,833 --> 00:03:33,004 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 66 00:03:33,088 --> 00:03:35,131 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] 67 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:41,680 You know, seeing a number like that always makes me nostalgic. 68 00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:43,640 Yeah? Nostalgic for what? 69 00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:45,183 DDT. 70 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:50,105 Okay, great sound, guys. That might just catch on. 71 00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:51,356 Oh, thanks, guv. 72 00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:54,025 But you fellas should find a name for your group. 73 00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:57,362 We were thinking of something like the Grateful Dead. 74 00:03:57,445 --> 00:04:00,240 -The who? -Nah, it's been done. 75 00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:02,450 That's been done, too. 76 00:04:03,535 --> 00:04:04,953 KERMIT: Hey, it's Dudley Moore. 77 00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:08,081 Hi, Kermit. Uh, you ready for my number yet? 78 00:04:08,164 --> 00:04:11,334 Well, not yet. But matter of fact, the band was wondering 79 00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:14,379 how to play your accompaniment without any arrangements. 80 00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:16,715 -Band? Arrangements? -Mm-hm. Sure. 81 00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:19,050 Uh, I don't need any arrangements. 82 00:04:19,134 --> 00:04:20,427 Really? How come? 83 00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:21,678 I've got M.A.M.M.A. 84 00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:23,304 [WHEELS SQUEAKING] 85 00:04:24,848 --> 00:04:27,642 Looks like a fugitive from Star Wars. 86 00:04:27,726 --> 00:04:29,561 Its name is M.A.M.M.A., huh? 87 00:04:29,644 --> 00:04:33,732 Yeah. Music and Mood Management Apparatus. 88 00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:35,316 M.A.M.M.A. 89 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,652 -It plays anything you want? -Exactly. 90 00:04:37,736 --> 00:04:39,446 Gee, is it any good? 91 00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:41,614 -"Is it any good"? -Mm-hm. 92 00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:44,159 This is the ultimate achievement. 93 00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:48,830 This is man's synthesis of science and art. 94 00:04:48,913 --> 00:04:52,834 This is the Sistine Chapel of innovation. 95 00:04:52,917 --> 00:04:54,169 It's good, huh? 96 00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:55,462 It's not bad. 97 00:04:57,714 --> 00:04:58,965 [CLICKING AND BEEPING] 98 00:04:59,049 --> 00:05:02,385 [PLAYING MUPPET SHOW THEME SONG] 99 00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:06,097 By fiddling with these thingamajigs here, 100 00:05:06,181 --> 00:05:08,183 I can get, uh, classical. 101 00:05:08,266 --> 00:05:10,393 [PLAYING CLASSICAL MUSIC] 102 00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:14,981 Or jazz. 103 00:05:15,065 --> 00:05:16,232 [PLAYING JAZZ MUSIC] 104 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:19,235 -Wow. -Or disco. 105 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,112 [PLAYING DISCO MUSIC] 106 00:05:21,196 --> 00:05:24,282 -Gee. Could we use it for our next number? -Sure. What is it? 107 00:05:24,366 --> 00:05:25,909 It's called "At the Dance." 108 00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:27,535 My pleasure. 109 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:34,709 Okay, everybody on-stage for "At the Disco Dance." 110 00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:37,712 Oh, Kermit, I am gonna be so funny. 111 00:05:39,798 --> 00:05:41,716 [DISCO MUSIC CONTINUES] 112 00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:48,932 Oh, yeah! 113 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,852 Hey, hey, everybody! Hey, listen. Hey! 114 00:05:52,936 --> 00:05:58,483 What is green, waves its arms, and is found in Chinese restaurants, huh? 115 00:05:58,566 --> 00:05:59,609 I don't know. 116 00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:02,987 What is green, waves its arms, and is found in Chinese restaurants? 117 00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:05,657 Kermit the Eggroll! Ah! 118 00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:06,825 ALL: Oh! 119 00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:09,703 Yeah! Yeah! I knew you'd love it. 120 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:15,166 Hey, hey, hey, look. It's a dancing cow. 121 00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:18,003 This must be a dis-cow-theque. 122 00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:19,212 -Moo! -Boo! 123 00:06:19,295 --> 00:06:22,757 Yes, yes, yes, more, yes. Yes. 124 00:06:22,841 --> 00:06:24,759 Hey, hey, hey. Hey. 125 00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:27,679 Why did the duck cross the road? 126 00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:31,307 [SHOUTING] I don't know! Why did the duck cross the road? 127 00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:33,393 [FOZZIE GROANS] 128 00:06:33,476 --> 00:06:37,605 Because he was tied to the chicken. Ah! 129 00:06:37,689 --> 00:06:40,900 -Boo! -Thank you, thank you. 130 00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:44,154 Yes. Oh, look. Look. It's a dancing shark. 131 00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:47,198 This must be a fish-cotheque. Ah! 132 00:06:47,282 --> 00:06:48,324 Boo! 133 00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:50,577 Yes, more. I know you want more. 134 00:06:51,995 --> 00:06:54,414 Hey, hey, hey. Okay. Last one. Listen. 135 00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:55,540 Yeah, what? 136 00:06:55,623 --> 00:06:57,250 Hey, guys? Ahem. 137 00:06:57,334 --> 00:07:01,921 What do you call a light-brown billiard stick? Huh? 138 00:07:03,465 --> 00:07:06,176 A tan cue? 139 00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:08,928 You're welcome. Ah! 140 00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:14,642 Get away from me, please. I loved it. I'm glad you did. 141 00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:20,815 Okay, well, uh, so much for disco dancing. 142 00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:23,818 Uh, and now for all you fans of the roaring twenties, 143 00:07:23,902 --> 00:07:25,987 we have one of the top hits of 1929, 144 00:07:26,071 --> 00:07:30,575 written by Charles "Cow Cow" Davenport, called "Mama Don't Allow." 145 00:07:30,658 --> 00:07:32,035 Oh, good. 146 00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:36,915 Cow-Cow's songs are so mooooo-ving. 147 00:07:36,998 --> 00:07:38,708 Yeah. Yeah. 148 00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:42,837 Uh, okay, and it's played for you with his Music and Mood Management Apparatus 149 00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:45,215 by the fabulously talented Mr. Dudley Moore. 150 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,800 Yay! 151 00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:48,968 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] 152 00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:54,099 Okay, guys, take five. 153 00:07:54,182 --> 00:07:55,892 [BAND PLAYING] 154 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,983 Hold it. Hold it. 155 00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:05,360 What's wrong? 156 00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:07,904 No, I meant, uh, lay out. 157 00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:09,781 I won't be needing you. 158 00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:11,616 -Wha...? -How come? 159 00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:14,369 I'll be doing this with M.A.M.M.A. 160 00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:17,372 [M.A.M.M.A. PLAYING MUSIC] 161 00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:22,794 ♪ M.A.M.M.A. don't allow No guitar players in here ♪ 162 00:08:22,877 --> 00:08:24,629 What? 163 00:08:24,713 --> 00:08:27,716 ♪ M.A.M.M.A. don't allow No guitar players in here ♪ 164 00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,678 ♪ It don't matter If you're flat or sharp ♪ 165 00:08:31,761 --> 00:08:34,014 ♪ You're gonna wake up a-playing a harp ♪ 166 00:08:34,097 --> 00:08:37,600 ♪ 'Cause M.A.M.M.A. don't allow No guitar players in here ♪ 167 00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:39,185 Take it, M.A.M.M.A. 168 00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:53,324 Would you believe this? It's a musical garbage can. 169 00:08:53,408 --> 00:08:55,535 Playing musical garbage. 170 00:08:56,828 --> 00:09:00,790 Yeah. It ain't got that swing when it's played by a thing. 171 00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:06,629 Still, you will note, that it is being played. 172 00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:09,507 And nobody being paid. 173 00:09:09,591 --> 00:09:11,134 True. True. 174 00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:12,385 Jive. 175 00:09:16,348 --> 00:09:19,225 ♪ M.A.M.M.A. don't allow No drummer man in here ♪ 176 00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:23,938 ♪ M.A.M.M.A. don't allow No drummer man in here ♪ 177 00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:30,070 ♪ M.A.M.M.A. said she gonna lower the boom If she hear drumming in this room ♪ 178 00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:33,281 ♪ 'Cause M.A.M.M.A. don't allow No drummin' in here ♪ 179 00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:39,496 [YELLING] 180 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,527 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] 181 00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:18,993 FLOYD: We gotta talk to him. 182 00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:20,203 Yeah. 183 00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:22,497 Hey, cricket-breath. 184 00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:24,165 Oh, uh, hi, guys. 185 00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:27,502 Yeah, what's this electric no-man's band you're using? 186 00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:28,628 Yeah. 187 00:10:28,712 --> 00:10:32,090 Oh. That's just an experiment, that's all, Floyd. 188 00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:36,261 Listen, turtle-bait. Just because it can play for Dudley Moore 189 00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:38,555 don't mean it can play the rest of the show. 190 00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,015 Right. Right. 191 00:10:40,098 --> 00:10:41,474 "The rest of the show"? 192 00:10:41,558 --> 00:10:43,518 Why, Floyd, that's a wonderful idea. 193 00:10:43,601 --> 00:10:48,440 I'll just plug in the background music button here. 194 00:10:48,523 --> 00:10:51,109 [M.A.M.M.A. PLAYS DRAMATIC STING] 195 00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:53,945 Hey, Rowlf, where you going? Wait a minute, man. 196 00:10:54,029 --> 00:10:56,823 Hey, we gotta present a solid front on this. 197 00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:59,075 Uh, you do the solid front bit. 198 00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:03,246 I'm gonna call this monkey I know who's looking for an organ grinder. 199 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:08,668 Uh... Uh... Well, um... 200 00:11:08,752 --> 00:11:12,005 Everybody on-stage for Pigs in Space. 201 00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:15,675 Well, it's a sad day for musicians. 202 00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:20,555 Yeah. I can almost hear Beethoven turning over in his grave. 203 00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:22,974 [M.A.M.M.A. PLAYS BEETHOVEN] 204 00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:31,566 NARRATOR: And now, Pigs in Space. 205 00:11:34,778 --> 00:11:37,322 When last we left the spaceship Swinetrek, 206 00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:40,492 it was being followed by a mysterious object. 207 00:11:40,575 --> 00:11:42,077 HOGTHROB: Oh! 208 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:45,705 It looks like one of those things that scientists send up from Earth. 209 00:11:45,789 --> 00:11:47,665 -What do you call them? -Satellite. 210 00:11:47,749 --> 00:11:49,751 Of course it's a light. 211 00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:53,129 Looks like a lot of lights. But what do you call it? 212 00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:56,925 Mon capitan is off to a great start. Ahem. 213 00:11:57,008 --> 00:12:01,262 STRANGEPORK: Link, I've just found out what that object is. 214 00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:02,972 What is it, Dr. Strangepork? 215 00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:06,309 -I'll tell you when I make my entrance. -Huh? 216 00:12:08,269 --> 00:12:10,355 [TRIUMPHANT BRASS FANFARE PLAYS] 217 00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:17,946 That machine was sent up here to underscore this sketch. 218 00:12:18,029 --> 00:12:22,409 -Huh? -Yeah.That music was for my entrance. 219 00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:27,664 Pretty big fanfare for a mere passenger-hyphen-scientist. 220 00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:30,667 Imagine what it would be for a captain. 221 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,419 Think I'll try it, hm? 222 00:12:33,962 --> 00:12:35,714 Here I go. 223 00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:40,677 Your captain is here. 224 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,805 [HUMILIATING JINGLE PLAYS] 225 00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:45,265 What the hey? 226 00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:51,187 Look, Strangepork, you mean we're stuck with that all through the sketch? 227 00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:52,564 [DRAMATIC CHORD PLAYS] 228 00:12:52,647 --> 00:12:54,357 I'm afraid so. 229 00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:55,817 [HIGHER CHORD PLAYS] 230 00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,736 Isn't there anything we can do? 231 00:12:57,819 --> 00:12:59,112 [HIGHER CHORD PLAYS] 232 00:12:59,195 --> 00:13:00,655 Nothing. 233 00:13:00,739 --> 00:13:03,158 [HIGHER CHORD PLAYS] 234 00:13:03,241 --> 00:13:04,325 Get ready. 235 00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:06,578 This is a catastrophe. 236 00:13:06,661 --> 00:13:09,122 [HUMILIATING JINGLE PLAYS] 237 00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:13,418 How come it always plays dumb music when I talk? 238 00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:18,131 I can't take any more of this. I'm walking. 239 00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:19,341 You can't. 240 00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:20,800 Ha. Watch me. 241 00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:23,053 [STRUTTING BROADWAY MUSIC PLAYS] 242 00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:24,637 [LINK and STRANGEPORK CATCALLING] 243 00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:26,473 Hubba-hubba. 244 00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:31,102 What do you think you're doing? 245 00:13:31,186 --> 00:13:33,188 Just what you told us to. 246 00:13:33,271 --> 00:13:35,190 Yeah, you said "Watch me." 247 00:13:35,273 --> 00:13:36,941 [HUMILIATING JINGLE PLAYS] 248 00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:38,234 Hey. 249 00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:41,946 Yeah? Yeah? Well, watch this. Hi-yah! 250 00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:43,448 NARRATOR: Tune in next week, 251 00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:48,870 when serious charges are brought against this week's Pigs in Space. 252 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:53,083 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 253 00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:54,959 Entrez-toi. 254 00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:58,880 -Did you want to see me, Miss Piggy? -Oh, yes, Kermie, come in. 255 00:14:01,091 --> 00:14:03,760 Oh, Kermie. 256 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:05,887 -Yes, Piggy? -I have something... 257 00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:08,640 very important to tell vous. 258 00:14:08,723 --> 00:14:11,351 Uh... Yes, Piggy? 259 00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:18,525 There is something you could do that would make moi very, very happy. 260 00:14:18,608 --> 00:14:20,652 Well, tell me what it is. 261 00:14:21,903 --> 00:14:25,073 You know what it is. 262 00:14:25,156 --> 00:14:26,199 I... 263 00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:27,325 I do? 264 00:14:27,409 --> 00:14:30,787 Of course you do. You must. Oh! 265 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:33,248 Piggy, are you trying to say...? 266 00:14:33,331 --> 00:14:36,167 Yes, Kermit. 267 00:14:36,251 --> 00:14:38,753 My dressing room sink is stopped up again. 268 00:14:40,672 --> 00:14:43,425 -I'll send Scooter up with a plunger. -Good. 269 00:14:43,508 --> 00:14:45,593 No, wait. Kermie, Kermie, don't. 270 00:14:45,677 --> 00:14:47,095 Not this door. 271 00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:49,472 -Don't go out this door. -Why not? 272 00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:51,099 Because, Kermie, 273 00:14:51,182 --> 00:14:56,813 I have this feeling there is something terrible outside, waiting. 274 00:14:56,896 --> 00:15:01,276 Piggy, don't be silly. There's nothing outside that door to worry about. 275 00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:03,236 Yes, there is. There's something out there. 276 00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:07,741 There's something evil. And monstrous. 277 00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:10,827 I can feel it, lurking and waiting to pounce. 278 00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:13,663 Piggy. That's just the door to the corridor. 279 00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:16,416 -Now get out of my way, Piggy. -No. I won't let you. 280 00:15:16,499 --> 00:15:20,795 Get back from the door. Piggy. Listen. Piggy. You're going to stand back. 281 00:15:20,879 --> 00:15:23,048 No! No! No! 282 00:15:23,131 --> 00:15:25,842 -You see, Piggy? There's nothing out here. -Don't! 283 00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:27,552 There's nothing out here at all. 284 00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:29,054 [PIGGY SCREAMS] 285 00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:33,141 That's Dudley's music machine. 286 00:15:33,224 --> 00:15:34,768 [PLAYS FANFARE] 287 00:15:36,061 --> 00:15:39,314 It's that stupid music machine. What are you doing in my dressing room? 288 00:15:39,397 --> 00:15:43,360 I said, what are you doing in my dressing room? 289 00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:45,320 I am getting out of here. 290 00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:46,821 [STRUTTING BROADWAY MUSIC PLAYS] 291 00:15:46,905 --> 00:15:47,947 LINK: Whoo-hoo! 292 00:15:48,031 --> 00:15:49,657 Oh, boy. Mm-hm. 293 00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:51,201 Hubba-hubba. 294 00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:53,161 [PIGGY SCREAMS] 295 00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:55,288 Hey, chicky baby. 296 00:15:55,372 --> 00:15:56,873 Sooey, sooey. 297 00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,958 [SCATTING] 298 00:16:23,441 --> 00:16:24,484 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 299 00:16:24,567 --> 00:16:25,652 Come in. 300 00:16:26,528 --> 00:16:27,987 -Hey, Dudley. -Hey, Floyd. 301 00:16:28,071 --> 00:16:30,532 Yeah, is it okay if me and my friend come in? 302 00:16:30,615 --> 00:16:33,034 -Yeah. Sure. -Oh, good. 303 00:16:33,118 --> 00:16:34,869 [ANIMAL PANTING] 304 00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:38,581 If this is your friend, I'd hate to meet your enemies. 305 00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:42,544 Yeah, well, listen. As members of the band... 306 00:16:42,627 --> 00:16:44,212 Band. 307 00:16:44,295 --> 00:16:49,592 ...we come here to have it out with you about this music machine you got. 308 00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:54,472 Right. Yeah, uh, I know we have differing opinions on the subject, 309 00:16:54,556 --> 00:16:56,641 so it's probably best to talk about it. 310 00:16:56,725 --> 00:16:59,853 -Yeah, I'm glad you feel that way. -Yeah. Well, uh... 311 00:16:59,936 --> 00:17:05,859 Why don't we openly and freely express our feelings on the subject? 312 00:17:05,942 --> 00:17:06,985 -Good. -Yeah, yeah. 313 00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:09,863 I feel that that cheap jive jukebox 314 00:17:09,946 --> 00:17:12,741 is gonna put an end to the gig for the band, man. 315 00:17:12,824 --> 00:17:16,119 I mean, we haven't worked all night, and it's your fault. 316 00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:18,079 ANIMAL: Your fault, Dudley. 317 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,165 Dudley. 318 00:17:20,248 --> 00:17:21,875 -Well-- -Comes pay packet time, 319 00:17:21,958 --> 00:17:25,462 old man frog gonna wonder why he's paying legal tender on us. 320 00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:26,796 On us. 321 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:28,340 Dudley. 322 00:17:30,467 --> 00:17:31,593 Well... 323 00:17:31,676 --> 00:17:33,720 Well-stated. Um... 324 00:17:34,763 --> 00:17:39,684 I think it's a very succinct and valid uh, expression 325 00:17:39,768 --> 00:17:42,270 of your opinion. 326 00:17:42,354 --> 00:17:46,274 I, on the other hand, feel that, uh... 327 00:17:46,358 --> 00:17:48,401 technological advances should not be... 328 00:17:48,485 --> 00:17:49,652 [ANIMAL PANTING] 329 00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:51,654 ...viewed, uh, as an enemy. 330 00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:54,366 I mean, after all, uh... 331 00:17:54,449 --> 00:17:59,120 great triumphs of science, um... 332 00:18:00,538 --> 00:18:05,335 Uh, are also true advances of the human spirit. 333 00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:08,088 And I don't feel that we should-- 334 00:18:08,171 --> 00:18:09,214 Ahem. 335 00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:15,845 um, let temporary or personal considerations stand in the way. 336 00:18:17,681 --> 00:18:20,642 How do you feel about that, Animal? 337 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:23,645 Kill! 338 00:18:23,728 --> 00:18:24,813 Kill! 339 00:18:24,896 --> 00:18:26,690 Kill! 340 00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:30,235 All right! Anything you like! Anything you say! Please. Anything. 341 00:18:30,318 --> 00:18:31,528 -Hey. Sit. -Sit. 342 00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:33,488 -Heel. -Heel. 343 00:18:33,571 --> 00:18:37,242 Well, I didn't realize he was president of your debating society. 344 00:18:37,325 --> 00:18:38,743 [ANIMAL YELLING] 345 00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:45,917 Okay, now I have a real treat for all you fear and culture lovers. 346 00:18:46,001 --> 00:18:48,837 It's time once again for Gonzo the Great. 347 00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:51,339 Gonzo apparently has a real crazy act tonight. 348 00:18:51,423 --> 00:18:54,551 He won't even tell me what it is, but I do have this message: 349 00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:58,471 We have to ask for complete and total silence from everyone. 350 00:18:58,555 --> 00:19:00,640 [M.A.M.M.A. BEEPING] 351 00:19:00,724 --> 00:19:01,808 Shh. 352 00:19:01,891 --> 00:19:03,018 [BEEPS] 353 00:19:04,227 --> 00:19:06,646 And now, Gonzo the Great. 354 00:19:06,730 --> 00:19:08,523 [QUIET DRUM ROLL] 355 00:19:10,275 --> 00:19:11,818 Thank you, thank you. 356 00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:16,406 I must have complete silence for this act, please. 357 00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:18,491 Ahem. Thank you. 358 00:19:18,575 --> 00:19:23,246 I shall now recite from the works of Percy Bysshe Shelley while, 359 00:19:23,329 --> 00:19:25,707 and at the same time, 360 00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:30,170 defusing this high explosive bomb. 361 00:19:30,253 --> 00:19:31,463 [SIGHS] 362 00:19:34,924 --> 00:19:37,761 Hail to thee, blithe Spirit 363 00:19:42,557 --> 00:19:44,017 Bird thou-- 364 00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:45,310 [TICKING] 365 00:19:49,356 --> 00:19:51,316 Bird thou never wert 366 00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:54,319 [TICKING CONTINUES AND M.A.M.M.A. WHIRS] 367 00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:58,865 That from Heaven or near it Pourest thy full heart 368 00:19:58,948 --> 00:20:05,080 In profuse strains of unpremeditated art 369 00:20:05,163 --> 00:20:07,248 [M.A.M.M.A PLAYS LOUD CHORD, GONZO SCREAMS] 370 00:20:08,249 --> 00:20:09,542 [SCREAMS] 371 00:20:12,003 --> 00:20:13,505 What a finish. 372 00:20:13,588 --> 00:20:15,256 [LAUGHS] 373 00:20:19,135 --> 00:20:21,429 FLOYD: Ha! Look at this. 374 00:20:22,764 --> 00:20:24,224 [ANIMAL LAUGHS] 375 00:20:24,307 --> 00:20:26,976 Hey, guys? Uh, guys? 376 00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:31,981 Uh, listen, would you all do me a big favor and, uh, finish the show? 377 00:20:32,065 --> 00:20:33,233 Whoa! 378 00:20:33,316 --> 00:20:37,487 Why? Is anything wrong, little swamp brother? 379 00:20:39,155 --> 00:20:45,203 Yeah, well, see, Dudley's music machine seems to be on the sick list, and... 380 00:20:45,286 --> 00:20:47,080 "Seems to be." 381 00:20:47,163 --> 00:20:50,166 Well, maybe it'll still work. 382 00:20:51,334 --> 00:20:53,044 [PLAYING KABUKI MUSIC] 383 00:20:55,213 --> 00:20:57,215 Japanese Kabuki music? 384 00:20:58,508 --> 00:21:01,553 Listen, guys, if you all will finish up the show, 385 00:21:01,636 --> 00:21:05,390 I promise I will never even think of using another band. 386 00:21:06,558 --> 00:21:08,309 Let us deliberate. 387 00:21:08,393 --> 00:21:10,228 ANIMAL: No. No. 388 00:21:10,311 --> 00:21:12,564 No. No, no, no. 389 00:21:12,647 --> 00:21:15,275 Pretty please with cream and sugar on top? 390 00:21:15,358 --> 00:21:16,735 Okay. You got it. 391 00:21:16,818 --> 00:21:17,986 Okay. 392 00:21:18,069 --> 00:21:20,780 Oh, good, good. Thank you so much. 393 00:21:20,864 --> 00:21:22,949 Ha, ha. Let's show him what a band sounds like. 394 00:21:23,033 --> 00:21:25,702 Okay. Okay. 395 00:21:31,499 --> 00:21:33,626 Okay. Okay. 396 00:21:34,878 --> 00:21:36,254 And now, ladies and gentlemen, 397 00:21:36,338 --> 00:21:39,883 appearing next is our own wonderful Muppet band 398 00:21:39,966 --> 00:21:41,343 with Mr. Dudley Moore. 399 00:21:41,426 --> 00:21:42,886 Yay! 400 00:21:46,222 --> 00:21:48,308 [PLAYING JAZZ MUSIC] 401 00:21:55,982 --> 00:21:57,400 [ANIMAL DRUMMING HEAVILY] 402 00:21:57,484 --> 00:21:59,944 Animal, keep it low. Animal! 403 00:22:54,541 --> 00:22:56,835 Hey! Animal! 404 00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:12,225 Animal. Hey. 405 00:24:46,820 --> 00:24:48,905 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] 406 00:24:57,831 --> 00:25:00,959 Well, ladies and gentlemen, it has been a splendid evening, 407 00:25:01,042 --> 00:25:03,837 marred only by the fact that we blew up half the theater. 408 00:25:04,879 --> 00:25:08,258 But before we go, let us have one last round of applause 409 00:25:08,341 --> 00:25:11,094 for our very special guest star, Mr. Dudley Moore! 410 00:25:11,177 --> 00:25:12,721 Yeah! 411 00:25:12,804 --> 00:25:14,889 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] 412 00:25:18,101 --> 00:25:20,270 Thank you. Thank you very much, Kermit. 413 00:25:20,353 --> 00:25:23,982 It's been a real pleasure playing the remains of the Muppet Theatre. 414 00:25:24,065 --> 00:25:27,777 Uh, yeah, and I'm sorry to say that we broke your machine. 415 00:25:27,861 --> 00:25:31,531 Oh, no trouble. I'm happy to say I fixed it again. 416 00:25:31,614 --> 00:25:34,784 Oh. I'm sorry to say I liked it better when it was broken. 417 00:25:34,868 --> 00:25:36,036 Oh. 418 00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:39,748 Uh, I'll just program it for the, uh, closing theme. 419 00:25:39,831 --> 00:25:41,708 Well, there's nothing left for me to say, 420 00:25:41,791 --> 00:25:44,252 but we'll see you next time on The Muppet Show. 421 00:25:44,336 --> 00:25:46,796 [BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC] 422 00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:49,674 [M.A.M.M.A PLAYING STRUTTING BROADWAY MUSIC] 423 00:25:51,926 --> 00:25:53,928 [PLAYING DISCO MUSIC] 424 00:25:58,767 --> 00:26:01,394 [PLAYING JAZZ MUSIC] 425 00:26:03,772 --> 00:26:06,524 [PLAYING STRUTTING BROADWAY MUSIC] 426 00:26:09,361 --> 00:26:11,446 [PLAYING MEDLEY OF MUSICAL STYLES] 427 00:26:21,414 --> 00:26:23,166 So they blew up half the theater. 428 00:26:23,249 --> 00:26:25,210 At least they blew up the right half. 429 00:26:25,293 --> 00:26:26,503 [IN UNISON] Theirs.